The joy of online friends

Once upon a time (a long, long time ago), a Government contractor walked up to me at work and asked "Do you have a home computer?" When I answered yes, he handed me a business card. It was for his BBS (bulletin board system), which was the way folks got online back before the Internet was widely used and AOL became a household name. Thus began my long history of making friends online.  I have made many more friends online (some of whom I've never met) than in "real life."  Some online friends have also become long-time "real life" friends.

In those early years online, I met a group of local people that were all pretty silly like me (as you can see from the picture at left).  Some of us travelled together for 10 years--from 1996 to 2006. We went on three Caribbean cruises together; made three trips to the Hawaiian islands; gambled together in Vegas, Atlantic City and Paradise Island (in the Bahamas) and had a few other trips in between.  We got along well, liked doing the same things, and had a lot of fun.

Below, you'll see sisters Helen & Lynn and I at a luau in Maui (Hawaii) and having lunch in a Paradise Island restaurant.  Below that, the larger group is shown in Kauai (Hawaii) and at the ruins in Mexico.

Some years later, I joined AOL and was fortunate enough to find my way to two fantastic chatrooms--DC Chit Chat and Bookaccino--both of which had a major impact on me.  The first group was local, so we socialized regularly in person; the other was national, and there was an annual gathering in a major city somewhere in the U.S.  The first two pictures below are of some of our DC chat group at the wedding of two of our members, and at the Maryland Renaissance Festival.  The second two pictures are of the Bookaccino group at the two annual gatherings I attended--one in Baltimore, MD and one in Philadelphia, PA.

In 2003, I decided the time had come for me to finally change my lifestyle over the long term in terms of eating and exercise for health reasons, so I joined an Internet board dedicated to those issues.  There, I met many wonderful and supportive people, one of whom was Denise, who lives on the West Coast.  Denise continues to be a close friend of mine to this day, despite having only met her in person one time for a few hours (she and her family came to DC for a vacation in 2005).  We speak every week via AIM (AOL instant messenger).

In the past two years, I have made many friends on Flickr, a photo-sharing website to which I am a frequent contributor.  I even became re-acquainted with a woman on Flickr who I'd originally "met" on the healthy eating board but who no longer frequents that board.  I have not had the honor of meeting any of my Flickr friends in person yet, but I feel pretty certain that it will happen eventually.

I have also "met" new friends on Dogster, a pet-lovers site; Twitter, a social networking site; Shelfari, a book-lovers site and a website for Amazon Vine reviewers. 

I've known people who would come right out and say that online friends weren't "real."  I've known a number of people who would be chatting with the group every day for a year and then suddenly disappear into thin air, never to be heard from again--not caring enough to let us know what happened and why they were no longer part of the group.  To those of us who take our online friendships as seriously as "real life" friendships, this was often hurtful.  Even as much as computers are a part of our world now, there will always be people who will minimize online friendships.  That's their opinion.  And their loss, too.

My life is so much richer, my knowledge and contacts so much broader, because I have been lucky enough to have such diverse and wonderful online friends.  Whether I ever meet them in person is hardly important.  You don't have to be standing in front of me to matter.  And that's MY opinion.

The joy of generosity

My heart is full as I write this on the evening of Febuary 7, 2010. Our little beach town was slammed with its worst snowstorm in decades, as was much of the East Coast. We lost power Friday night and temperatures Saturday night dipped to around 15 degrees. Having grown up in Ohio, I wasn't afraid of the snow--I went out and shovelled at regular intervals during the day so that I could have a path to take my dog out to go potty--but what scared me was spending the night alone in the dark without power when temperatures were going to get that cold.

Two angels, a couple who live on the other side of my community, had purchased a mighty generator and already had several electric or gel fireplaces. They started taking in neighbors around lunchtime on Saturday, especially the elderly. They invited me but I kept holding out, not wanting to leave my home and make the arduous trek through hip-high snow to the other side of the development. Finally, just after dark, when I saw how quickly the tempurature inside my apartment was plummeting, I gave in and called to say I was coming. They sent two people from that end--one a new but dear friend of mine--and another was coming from my end. They carried my backpack and my dog while I trudged through the dark, the snowstorm raging in 50 MPH winds and whiteout conditions.

With the arrival of my neighbor and I, there were a total of 9 people and 4 dogs in this 2-bedroom condo. While of course it was comforting to have companionship, SOME heat and light and even a TV on which to keep up with the latest news of the storm, I am at heart a solitary person--it would be disingenuous of me to say that being sardined into a livingroom with 8 other people and 4 dogs for almost 24 hours was a fun time for me.

That said, I am so grateful for the generosity of spirit, shelter, food and blankets that these ladies provided, despite the fact that most of us barely know them and vice versa. It makes me almost tear up to even think of their sacrifice for us and their kindness to us, not to mention the women who shovelled a pathway from the court where we were holed up to the court where most of the evacuees lived, the women who shepherded me and my dog through the storm, etc.

The real shocker of this weekend, though, in terms of generosity was my upstairs neighbor. He and I have had a rather contentious relationship for the 2+ years I've lived here. And yet, while I was out shovelling snow Saturday, he offered me a potfull of hot water that he'd heated on his grill so that I could have a cup of hot tea when I came in from shovelling. He then said he'd be making he and his roommate a complete steak dinner on the grill and that he'd be delivering one to me as well. I was flabbergasted...and touched. He did as promised and I tore into it like a person who hadn't eaten in 24 hours--which was almost the truth. I'd eaten cheese and crackers and cereal but it was the first HOT meal I'd had in 24 hours. It was heavenly.

The snow plow arrived in our development about 4:30 Sunday afternoon and worked for hours clearing the deep snow and even deeper drifts from our parking lots and driveways. It is now the next morning (see note below), and I've just returned from walking my dog for the first time post-plowing. It looks like another planet out there--or, at the least, another area of the country--there are huge piles of snow everywhere and every inch of pavement is covered in a thick sheet of ice. Luckily, I invested in ice cleats last summer, so this wasn't a problem. However, in trying to clean up after my dog, I found myself hip deep in frozen snow and fell over, but was able to eventually right myself. So even walking the dog was an adventure!

I have already written thank you notes to the neighbors who provided me food and shelter during this crazy, scary weekend. I am currently writing notes to the ladies who assisted me in my trek through the storm to shelter and who shovelled a partial path yesterday so all of us who had stayed the night could get safely home. It doesn't begin to express how much their kindness and generosity touched me and helped me, but it is a start.

I am blessed. And I am warm.


Note: While I was writing this Sunday night, my power went out again--luckily this time for only a short while--so I am actually finishing this on Monday, February 8th. Thankfully, Blogger had saved a draft of what I'd already written (all but the last two paragraphs) and I didn't have to start over. WHEW!

The joy of exercise

As an overweight woman over 55 with a major family history of diabetes, heart disease and high cholesterol, exercise is a necessary evil. Most people hate exercise. I find that the hardest part for me is just getting started. Once I'm at the gym, I often quite enjoy it. With the exception of a year or two just prior to and just after retirement, I have been a member of a gym since late 1998. That doesn't always mean I WENT to the gym regularly; I generally went through phases of going and not going.

When I lived in Virginia, I joined a gym next to my office building. I tried working out before work and at lunchtime, but found both provided inadequate time to get in a full workout plus the shower, hair and makeup routine that follow, and still get to work (or back to work) on time. Eventually, I mostly went to the gym on days I wasn't working. This gave me the freedom to take classes (like the hellaciously-demanding step aerobics class I used to take on Saturdays) and stay at the gym as long as I liked.

Here in Delaware, I work out at a small community gym. It isn't fancy like my previous gym--it doesn't have a pool, sauna, hot tub or shower room--but it has plenty of equipment and a huge free weight room as well, so it meets my needs for now.

In my experience, I am unusual in that I am a woman (especially a woman over 55) who enjoys weightlifting. I love the sense of accomplishment it gives me when I can lift more than last year, the definition in my muscles and the feeling of being powerful.

Most women seem to be afraid of weights. They worry about building muscle--looking like Arnold Schwarzenegger. I have tried to explain to many women over the years that we, as women, do not have the testosterone needed to build massive muscles (not to mention that many men with bulky muscles have taken steroids to help them build that mass). I frankly find muscle definition sexy and am happy to find more definition in my upper arms, etc.

It's not all about the gym, though. From 2003 to 2008, I was big into doing workouts on DVD at home. I did kickboxing, tai chi, Pilates, ballet, weightlifting, hula dancing, belly dancing--just about anything you can think of that doesn't require much (or any) equipment. I still own a nice library of exercise DVDs and I rent others from the online DVD rental company, Netflix. Netflix has a great selection and renting is a wonderful way to determine whether a workout is right for you before you invest in buying it. Trust me, I learned the hard way!

I'm also a walker of many years. I think that is the exercise that gives me the most enjoyment. On a beautiful, sunny day, I used to regularly walk for an hour or more, including a pretty daunting hill in my old Virginia neighborhood. Sadly, the area of Delaware where I live now is flat as a pancake, so there just isn't the challenge with walking that there was in Virginia.

I have a dog now, so most of my walking these days is at the other end of a little white fluffy thing. Thankfully, she loves to walk as much as I do so, when the weather is nice, we take some nice long walks. I do miss walking on my own, though. I'm thinking that, when the weather gets nicer in the spring, I may start shortening my walks with the dog to allow me to start walking on my own again. When I'm out there with my iPod and the breeze in my hair, I am in the zone.

Kind of like my favorite new piece of exercise equipment--the water rower. I'd never seen one before I joined my new gym in Delaware. Instead of pulling weights, you're pulling against the force of water. As you'll hear in the video below, it sounds like you're actually rowing a boat. When I turn on a fan and close my eyes, I can almost think I'm outside rowing.